More Growing Pains - May Force Silence

Where in the World is D Today?

Listening to “Angry Music” in Starbucks. The playlist tonight is Living Colour, James Brown, Hazard To Your Booty, Jay-Z, and The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I’m really frustrated right now. Nah…. Frustrated is the wrong word….. Hmmmm? Is there ONE word to describe feeling lost, lonely, angry, annoyed, stupid and worried all at the same time?

Culture Shock is getting the better of me right now. It feels like a losing battle and I'll never get really comfortable. I know intellectually it'll be better at some point. But Emotionally, right now, it feels horrible.

I want to talk, but, every time I open my mouth …. I get misunderstood. I think that misunderstand comes from a natural language barrier, my inability to express the complexities of my mind in elementary English. Also adding to this are the huge cultural differences of age, background, and life experience.

I can see my friends genuinely WANT to understand what’s bothering me, but too often, because of cultural differences I think, they do not see why this thing or that thing is such a worry. And I get “just don’t worry about it. Be happy.” I want to scream every time I hear that phrase now. I hear it a lot!

The basic choice I have now is to not say anything and just put on a happy face. That seems the best (most culturally proper) thing for me to do. It’s good for them, but for me…. Mmm not so much. Talking is good therapy for me. So will apologize in advance that more of my blog entries might tend to be a bit on the depressed side of things.

I suppose I could just write and not share, but that sort of defeats the purpose. The point of the blog is to let you see the world from my perspective… to let you inside my head a bit.

Anybody care to give me your thoughts on what you want to see on the blog?

I’m going to try something new now. I am going to post some song lyrics. The song is Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The song speaks in metaphors just like I do and it resonates with me strongly right now. When I get frustrated I walk. Hopefully you’ll understand when you read. I know there are a few mistakes in the Chinese, but I don’t know how to change them.

Peace ~ 戴格智

Under The Bridge ~ Red Hot Chili Peppers

Sometimes I feel
Like I dont have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angel
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I drive on her streets
cause shes my companion
I walk through her hills
cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie

I dont ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

Its hard to believe
That theres nobody out there
Its hard to believe
That Im all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I dont ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away


橋下〜紅辣椒

有時候，我覺得
我不喜歡的合作夥伴
有時候，我覺得
像我唯一的朋友
是我住在城市
天使城
孤獨的我
我們一起哭

我開她的街道
我的同伴事業喜
我走過她的丘陵
導致她知道我是誰
她看到我的好事
她親吻我的風
我從來不擔心
現在這是一個謊言

我不想要的感覺
像我這一天
請帶我去的地方我愛
把我所有的道路

其很難相信
這人有theres
其很難相信
即時通訊獨自
至少我有她的愛
這個城市，她愛我
孤獨的我
我們一起哭

我不想要的感覺
像我這一天
請帶我去的地方我愛
把我所有的道路

在市中心的橋樑
就是我提請一些血液
在市中心的橋樑
我無法獲得足夠的
在市中心的橋樑
忘了我的愛
在市中心的橋樑
我給了我生命