Where in the World is D Today?

Honestly?.... Trying to decide if he’ll be happier ignoring Christmas or embracing it.

Ok… Really…. I can’t fully ignore Christmas. Even though Taiwan doesn’t “celebrate” Christmas, It definitely recognizes it.

In 48 years, I have never been alone and away from my family on Christmas. Never. Today, I am somewhere in the range of 7700 miles from all that is most dear to me on a High Holiday on the Christian calendar. As an adult, Christmas has always been a religious holiday, the celebrating of the birth of Christ. And until the arrival of Sean and Tim in my life, I’d been generally underwhelmed by all the Christmas “hype”. The emphasis on Santa and materialism makes me into a real scrooge.

I’ve tended to even-keeled outwardly when it comes to holidays and the sort. But I feel them deeply.

In my lesson to my third graders I explained how my family comes together at Christmas. They were SHOCKED at how large my family is and that often times I don’t know all the names of the people in the room. But I don’t have to know your name to love you. If you’re family, it’s all good. Give me a hug and kiss! Those hugs and kiss is what I am going to miss the most. We love on you outwardly in my family. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE those big deep hugs and kisses on the cheek. The smile of recognition when you come into the room is utterly and completely validating. In my family you can ALWAYS come home. We WANT you home, and MISS you when you’re not there…. (pause….. fighting back the tears now. This is why I was trying to ignore the day.)…….. As I’ve gotten older, my family has come to mean more and more to me. I love them and miss them all the more on the holidays.)

I miss the hugs my big brother Kirk and him calling me “baby boy”. Kirk is a big guy with a heart to match. I miss the protectiveness and steadiness of my big sister Marian. Memories of her laugh always make me smile. I miss the sensitivity of my little brother Steve. He is the lost sheep of sorts. We often get cross with one another, but I’ve never, never, never stopped believing in him and I KNOW beyond any measure of doubt he feels the same about me. Even though we drive the other nuts at times, he’s still my brother and if you mess with him, I’ll send you into the sweet by and by.

It goes without saying, but I must… I miss Sean and Tim. They are the two single most important people in the world to me. They taught me to lighten up during with is usually a very heavy time for me. I miss seeing thing laugh and joke and play with Sholanda, Sharese, Tot, Stevie, Marquis, and all of their other cousins. And there are many cousins. I miss the goofiness of Taylor, Trinity, and Ellis and how goofy they make my brother Kirk.

I miss the way my Aunt Lula’s eyes squint when she smiles and they way my Aunt Sam calls me “baby” and “sweetheart”. I miss the thought provoking conversations with my cousin Reggie, my uncle Art and Uncle Brother. (Yeah, you read that right. There is somebody in every family with a nickname that is a little confusing if you’re not in the family.)

I miss the continuous laughter when we are together. We don’t just love each other, we actually LIKE each other.

I miss hearing people call me Papa, Uncle Darryl, D, D.A., Preacher (my Grandmother used to call me that) and the occasional, “What’s your name again?” You really have to see how many people we can squeeze into one room.

I miss the freckles that are such a common trait in the Parker clan. My grandmother had them, my momma had them, all her brothers and sisters have, me and my brothers and sister have them, and all my cousins of a certain age have them. They come later in life. It’s a family trait that is undeniable.

I miss the food. GOD how I miss the food! I am especially craving my sister Marian’s spaghetti and macaroni and cheese!

I miss the quiet confident smile of my favorite…. Ok, well actually, technically she’s my only formal, Sister-in-Law Theresa. She and Karen my other Sister-in-Law, sort of, have been in this family since our high school days.

I will miss my dad. My Dad is the BEST man I know. Did I say I love that man? I Love that man. My dad is strong, steady and gentle. Most everything I know about kindness and patience, I learn from him. I learned just from watching him. He is completely unflappable. And his wife Juanita, is as thoughtful a woman as I know. We’ve always gotten along well.

My Family, God Bless ‘em, is a mish-mash of all that is good in the world. We’ve got it all. Black, White, Asian, Gay, Straight, Conservative, Liberal, Radicals… You name it and you just might be able to say… “Yeah, that is so much like……..” There are those with whom I share no blood or legal tie through marriage, that are as much family with every right, privilege, and burden that comes with every family. And to be perfectly honest, when I’m analyzing the family, as in moments like this, is the ONLY time it really dawns on me. But each is loved as much as if they were blood.
At the top I mentioned this being a religious holiday. It IS and always will be for me. I need not say anything else. I don’t miss it. It is ever present in my life. My faith and ALL associated with it makes it possible for me to withstand these waves of emotion. I really don’t know how other people survive the vicissitudes of life. I know it’s the main reason I’m still standing. Every man or woman walks there own path. And that’s OK too.

This holiday is Big for me. Maybe I didn’t know just how much until it kept creeping closer and closer. The closer it got the heavier my heart became. I share this with you, so you know just how blessed a person I am. I’ve got these great wonderful people that are inextricably woven into the very fiber of who I am. And we love to be together on Christmas.

As you have no doubt deduced at this point, I can't ignore Christmas, even if I tried. Embracing it in the best way I know how is the only option.

Peace On Earth. Good Will To Men

MERRY CHRISTMAS

戴格智
(also known as Papa, Uncle Darryl, D, D.A., Preacher, or just simply ….. Darryl)

Peace