Where in the World is D Today?

Wondering what in the world happened?!

What do I mean by that? Well, something has shifted in my brain. I love my family deeply. Family is everything when you think about it. They will love you even when you’re being a jackass. They know most of your secrets and end the end they will choose you and stick by your side when everyone else has left you. At least that’s how my family is. If your family isn’t like mine, that is really too bad, REALLY? Anyway… I digress.

My point before was that as much as I love my family, there was this HUGE thing inside that could not wait to get back to Taiwan. My life here is anything but perfect, but this NEED to get back here was…. well…. WEIRD. I don’t really know where it came from. That’s why I wonder what happened? When did this shift happen in me? I don’t have a girlfriend, so I wasn’t rushing back for that. I did miss the food greatly. But, I ate great food in the U.S. My Chinese is mediocre at best on a good day. Meaning I spend a good portion of my life completely in the dark and confused. So the joy of confusion was not what was eating at me. And as I’ve stated many times to friends and family, at the end of the day, I am ALONE in Taiwan and that can at times be very lonely. Nonetheless, I missed my life as a Panda.

Here’s what I “think” may have happened. I am a guy in transition in his life. Transformation takes time. I have on occasion said “Taiwan was my destiny.” I didn’t then and still don’t now, fully understand the impact of that statement. I just know that things worked out in a way that seems as though I’m suppose to be here doing…. Something. What? I have no flippin’ idea.

This is what I DO know. When I came back, I could breathe. My chest was just lighter. When I walked down the street, people smiled and sometimes waved. I could be wrong, but I think my neighborhood missed their community Panda. Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. My first 24hours back were just awesome. I was Happy. I don’t say that often! Really, I just felt Happy. Comfortable. I spoke the best Chinese I could muster and it was good enough. They understood me and I them. When I had my first meal back, it was simply heaven in my taste buds! And the weather was AWESOME! (I've never loved the cold of the midwest in winter. Tolerate, endure, yes. Love? Nope, not ever gonna happen.)

So the question is do I miss my family and friends in the U.S.? ABSOLUTELY! As much as I miss my family and they miss me, I know that just want me to be happy. Like I said before, family sticks with you through whatever. They know I’ll return someday to be in their presence. In the meantime, I will enjoy their support as I continue to try to figure out what it is I want to do when I grow up.