Posts
What will follow is a series of very quick shorts I wrote on a Sunday afternoon in Starbucks. Note the date 10.11.09
Good Luck
戴格智
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
My Day WILL come. It Just Has To!
Where in the World is D?
Sitting and wondering
10.11.09
Please note the date above.
I’m at Starbucks. I had a good workout. My body feels sore, but not hurt or injured. That’s a good feeling. I have a semi full stomach. I went for dinner, but it was not the best effort of this restaurant tonight. I’ve been there many times and also had great food. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt of having an “off” night. So, I’m still a little hungry.
I was feeling really good, both physically and mentally. Then it happened. I looked up from my laptop to see this couple looking very lovingly at one another, and they shared a very sweet and tender kiss. My first thing I thought was, “Wow! I don’t think I’ve seen anyone do that my whole time in Taiwan.” My second thought was, “Damn, why can’t that be me?”
I know my turn is coming someday. I just hope its sooner than later.
Sitting and wondering
10.11.09
Please note the date above.
I’m at Starbucks. I had a good workout. My body feels sore, but not hurt or injured. That’s a good feeling. I have a semi full stomach. I went for dinner, but it was not the best effort of this restaurant tonight. I’ve been there many times and also had great food. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt of having an “off” night. So, I’m still a little hungry.
I was feeling really good, both physically and mentally. Then it happened. I looked up from my laptop to see this couple looking very lovingly at one another, and they shared a very sweet and tender kiss. My first thing I thought was, “Wow! I don’t think I’ve seen anyone do that my whole time in Taiwan.” My second thought was, “Damn, why can’t that be me?”
I know my turn is coming someday. I just hope its sooner than later.
Always Questioning. I really need to stop doing that.
Where in the World is D?
As usual, second guessing himself. UGH!
10.11.09
Self-doubt has been a life long companion of mine. If I had any “monkey’s on my back”, that would be it. Why? Lord only knows. A broken brain, or maybe just a broken heart. Maybe neither is broken, but seriously sprained. A nagging injury that just won’t heal. This time in Taiwan will be my physical therapy of sorts. Instead of going to a trainer to heal my sprained ankle, I am going to learn to relax and go with the flow. To just “be” and be ok with simply be-ing and not do-ing .
*A side note for my more conservative Christian friends who’s knee jerk reaction will surely be something along the lines of “trust God not yourself” or “God is the best therapist for you”. If you had any of those responses or anything like it… STOP!!!! Those responses insult my very deep faith and makes me terribly angry. You don’t think I have a regular conversation with Jesus about this. Struggles are not always due to some sort of deficit in my faith, prayer life, worship, tithing or other Christian ritual. Don’t be so quick to understand me. If you knew the whole story and saw the world through my eyes and experience, you might more likely say something like, “Dang, Darryl’s a tough guy. He’s still standing and fight after all that?!”
The thing is, the doubt is not in every aspect of my life, just a few very tender areas. If you were to see me in the classroom or doing any type of public speaking, you might think I was very cocky and be put off by presence.
None of us are one-dimensional. The expression, “what you see is what you get” is rarely entirely accurate. What you see is what I want you to see. And you get what I want you to get. We all have different parts of our psyche that manifest at different times. It’s ok. I think it’s pretty normal.
So if you are like me, constantly questioning yourself and if you really are “OK”, hang in there. What keeps me going are those days when I say to myself honestly, “Yeah, I AM OK. And at this moment I genuinely believe it.” Take stock of the moment. Smile a smile to yourself that no one else will understand.
Good Luck
戴格智
As usual, second guessing himself. UGH!
10.11.09
Self-doubt has been a life long companion of mine. If I had any “monkey’s on my back”, that would be it. Why? Lord only knows. A broken brain, or maybe just a broken heart. Maybe neither is broken, but seriously sprained. A nagging injury that just won’t heal. This time in Taiwan will be my physical therapy of sorts. Instead of going to a trainer to heal my sprained ankle, I am going to learn to relax and go with the flow. To just “be” and be ok with simply be-ing and not do-ing .
*A side note for my more conservative Christian friends who’s knee jerk reaction will surely be something along the lines of “trust God not yourself” or “God is the best therapist for you”. If you had any of those responses or anything like it… STOP!!!! Those responses insult my very deep faith and makes me terribly angry. You don’t think I have a regular conversation with Jesus about this. Struggles are not always due to some sort of deficit in my faith, prayer life, worship, tithing or other Christian ritual. Don’t be so quick to understand me. If you knew the whole story and saw the world through my eyes and experience, you might more likely say something like, “Dang, Darryl’s a tough guy. He’s still standing and fight after all that?!”
The thing is, the doubt is not in every aspect of my life, just a few very tender areas. If you were to see me in the classroom or doing any type of public speaking, you might think I was very cocky and be put off by presence.
None of us are one-dimensional. The expression, “what you see is what you get” is rarely entirely accurate. What you see is what I want you to see. And you get what I want you to get. We all have different parts of our psyche that manifest at different times. It’s ok. I think it’s pretty normal.
So if you are like me, constantly questioning yourself and if you really are “OK”, hang in there. What keeps me going are those days when I say to myself honestly, “Yeah, I AM OK. And at this moment I genuinely believe it.” Take stock of the moment. Smile a smile to yourself that no one else will understand.
Good Luck
戴格智
I Ain't Never Seen No Blue Dog!
Where in the World is D?
Trying to figure out what heck a blue dog democratic REALLY is.
10.11.09
A special note to the “blue dog” democrats. (By the way, who in the hell chose that name for you? You need a new PR rep. Just stick with conservative democrat, ok? It’s easy and clear to understand, though it seems a bit of a contradiction. But that’s another blog post for another day.)
Real Health care reform in within the nations grasp. It’s time to choose. Either you’re with us or your against us. If you against us, fine, that is your prerogative, but stop calling yourself a Democrat. If you believe in big business, if you believe that neighbors having a bake sale to help pay medical bills of a sick friend, if you believe the very misguided notion that you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps when you are standing barefoot, if you really believe that giving people the opportunity to buy health insurance from the government is a bad thing, and if you believe that you have no obligation to help the 1 million people who will file for bankruptcy because of medical bills or the some 40,000+ that will literally die because they have no insurance and can’t afford to go to a doctor….. call yourself what you are a Republican.
It’s time to take shit or get off the pot.
Good Luck
戴格智
Trying to figure out what heck a blue dog democratic REALLY is.
10.11.09
A special note to the “blue dog” democrats. (By the way, who in the hell chose that name for you? You need a new PR rep. Just stick with conservative democrat, ok? It’s easy and clear to understand, though it seems a bit of a contradiction. But that’s another blog post for another day.)
Real Health care reform in within the nations grasp. It’s time to choose. Either you’re with us or your against us. If you against us, fine, that is your prerogative, but stop calling yourself a Democrat. If you believe in big business, if you believe that neighbors having a bake sale to help pay medical bills of a sick friend, if you believe the very misguided notion that you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps when you are standing barefoot, if you really believe that giving people the opportunity to buy health insurance from the government is a bad thing, and if you believe that you have no obligation to help the 1 million people who will file for bankruptcy because of medical bills or the some 40,000+ that will literally die because they have no insurance and can’t afford to go to a doctor….. call yourself what you are a Republican.
It’s time to take shit or get off the pot.
Good Luck
戴格智
Turning the Tables
Where in the World is D?
Wondering how much of his hearing is lost. (Dang! Turn the music down just a little. My ears are bleeding!)
10.11.09
A funny thing happened at Search night club the other night. Actually two things happened but this is just about one. I’ll talk about the police raid later.
I’m not the smartest guy when it comes to women. This is a well known and documented fact. While I don’t always know when a Taiwanese woman is flirting, I do generally know when a western woman, probably American in this case, is flirting. It happened a couple of times. But as much as Taiwan people think “white girls” are SOOOOO Beautiful, I’ve been around them all my life and am not so easily impressed. Especially when just about every white women in this country has treated me like some unwelcome dog turd that someone dragged in. These girls were “cute” but VERY average. Anyway, I digress. There were a few attempts at flirtation that I all but ignored. I just wasn’t interested.
Later in the evening, to make a long explanation short, a guy named Mamba said he would bring over some girls to hang out with. Cool. You know what is about happen right?! I sitting there chillin’ like a mug, when he comes back with this group of girls. They look at me and the look on their face was just priceless. The luck was something like “F_ _k!” My look back was something along the line of “yep it’s me again, and I still don’t want to hang with you.” There was some talking in the group and they turn around and leave.
If you’re one of those nice guys like me, who have often been rejected for whatever reason by a cute girl, This ones for you buddy!
This might make me a bad person, but it felt good to be on the other end of that equation.
Good Luck
戴格智
Wondering how much of his hearing is lost. (Dang! Turn the music down just a little. My ears are bleeding!)
10.11.09
A funny thing happened at Search night club the other night. Actually two things happened but this is just about one. I’ll talk about the police raid later.
I’m not the smartest guy when it comes to women. This is a well known and documented fact. While I don’t always know when a Taiwanese woman is flirting, I do generally know when a western woman, probably American in this case, is flirting. It happened a couple of times. But as much as Taiwan people think “white girls” are SOOOOO Beautiful, I’ve been around them all my life and am not so easily impressed. Especially when just about every white women in this country has treated me like some unwelcome dog turd that someone dragged in. These girls were “cute” but VERY average. Anyway, I digress. There were a few attempts at flirtation that I all but ignored. I just wasn’t interested.
Later in the evening, to make a long explanation short, a guy named Mamba said he would bring over some girls to hang out with. Cool. You know what is about happen right?! I sitting there chillin’ like a mug, when he comes back with this group of girls. They look at me and the look on their face was just priceless. The luck was something like “F_ _k!” My look back was something along the line of “yep it’s me again, and I still don’t want to hang with you.” There was some talking in the group and they turn around and leave.
If you’re one of those nice guys like me, who have often been rejected for whatever reason by a cute girl, This ones for you buddy!
This might make me a bad person, but it felt good to be on the other end of that equation.
Good Luck
戴格智
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