Posts
Letters to Lisa Part 3
I see White People!
Dateline: everyday
Dear Lisa,
I’m still trying to get my brain around some parts of Taiwan culture. The only that I find most difficult and troubling is the notion that to be white is to be beautiful and the whiter the better.
Growing up, I was always …. different. I was often accused of wanting to be white. While I fully admit that when I was a kid there were times I often had much difficulty in expressing or identifying with my afro-centricity, BUT, I never wanted to be white. I knew that there was more the word had to offer than what I was getting in my neighborhood. I genuinely believed Jessie Jackson back in 1978 when he said, “you might have been born in the ghetto, but the ghetto wasn’t born in you.” I say all of that to give context to the rest of this letter. I’m different in America, but I am definitely Black. My whole experience in the world revolves around being Black, Male, and born at a time when segregation was still the law of the land in America.
Now you know me. I ain’t got no beef with white people. But I do like who I am. I know racism is still a critical issue in American, in spite of Barrack Obama being elected president. This is something Taiwan people really have a tough time understanding. They really America in it’s purest, most ideal, best.
Taiwan is a very, very small island. I once said that Chicago was close to my home. Maybe only an 8 hour drive. They were shocked that I considered that close. You drive 8 hours in Taiwan and you will either be in the Sea of Japan, the Pacific Ocean, or you’ve drive around the whole island 1 and a third times!! Meaning, Taiwan is very homogeneous. They have different (races for lack of a better term). There are Taiwanese, Hakka, and Aboriginal, Taiwan’s Indians, people. But culturally, they are all very much the same. America, by contrast, is a mish-mash of people from everywhere, and while we are all American, we do have very different cultures based on race, geography, original country of origin. You get the idea.
But we’ve also worked pretty hard to rid America of the notion that one color of skin is superior than another. That is NOT the case in Taiwan. Whiter is better, period, end of discussion. AND White people (foreigners) definitely get preferential treatment. They know it and act accordingly. I know my Taiwan friends will cringe and strongly protest that I’ve said such a thing. But from my perspective and more importantly my experience in Taiwan, I say it IS a true statement, made without malice or discontent.
Now, having said that, does it mean, they don’t like me because I’m black, NO. Black people are seen largely through the view of stereotypes. We’re strong, good athletes, good singers and dancers. All qualities that Taiwanese people really like! And even some famous black actors and sings are seen as handsome or beautiful. But if given the choice to ‘look like’ me or a white person, they would choose the white person. There is a saying in Chinese, “one white can cure/cover three uglies.” I wonder were this thinking comes from? But, I do say have very dear and special friends in Taiwan. I have a good life because of them.
I have talked to Chinese people about white people in the context of beauty and the most beautiful women are white, blond hair and blue eyes. I have even seen this play out with Taiwan boys all mid 20’s. This white girl walked by and they all got giddy and excited!! My response was, “DUDE!! Cut it out! There was nothing special about that girl. In my home that girl was totally average. She looked ok, but nothing worth that response.” Columbia is a total college town. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a cute white girl with blond hair. So I was totally under-whelmed. But you would have thought a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model just walked by. And just for the record, they say pretty much the same thing to me when I talk about the beauty of Chinese women.
The next mark of beauty is thin. But that’s a letter for another day.
In the meantime, I will continue to try and understand the beauty of white. Recently I heard a conversation between two women. I am NOT making this up! It went like this….
Woman Number 1: Hi, Nice to meet you.
Woman Number 2: Hi, Nice to meet you too.
Woman Number 1: You are so white.
Woman Number 2: Thank You!! (Big Smile)
Yeah, I’m NEVER gonna understand that. I am so tempted to say it when I see a friend. I wonder what she will say?
D
Showing posts with label Culture Shock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Culture Shock. Show all posts
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Yeah, You Can Go Home Again. But it's still a little weird.
Where in the World is D Today?
Feeling less like a Panda?
In my last post I pondered a few aspects of culture shock as they pertain specifically to me.
Being in Missouri the weather, or should I say the temperature, is much more palatable than Chicago and Galesburg. The weather here has been gray and gloomy, much like Taiwan was when I left.
I drove my car for the first time in a year. I actually worried a bit if it could still manage the gearshift without seeming like a beginning. My worries were unfounded. My body remembered the car quite well and it felt like the car remembered me too. It was a very pleasant experience driving my car again. I missed it more than I knew.
My Dear, Dear Friend Lyn gave me a coming home dinner party with my "Obama Buddies", Peter and Ty, Kurt, Lisa and their son Jake, and Charles and Monica. Lefty progressives all! It was fun to talk politics and culture. I was in a room of people who "got" me and I "got" them. Food and drink and lots of laughter. It was shear bliss.
I spent time with three of my former students yesterday, Duane, Dart, and Jerry. Most of the time was with Dart and Duane. I was very close to these guys as a teacher, mentor and role model. We laughed and clowned around just as before. I nagged Dart about his sagging pants and Duane about his smoking, just like before. Just as before, out of respect for me, Dart pulled up his pants and Duane didn't smoke in the car. Jerry was as "thought full" as ever. I always like that about him. A thinker, that my kind of guy!!
I've had a few Chinese moments along the way since being here. My desire to maintain what little ability I have to speak Chinese has prompted me to bold as I would not have been, nor needed to be in Taiwan. I've approached a few people that I thought looked Chinese and spoke to them in Chinese. It was both terrifying and gratifying at the same time. They clearly did not expect me to speak Chinese. And they were so pleased that I did. Most importantly, They Could UNDERSTAND me!!!!!!!!!! Say it with me people.... AWESOME!!!!! I now truly understand what it must feel like to a stranger who approaches me in Taiwan. They want to talk and are genuinely interested, but KNOW their language ability is limited.
My time with Sean and Marcy has been fun. They were at the dinner last night and was able to see a part of my world that they had never really seen been apart of before, me interacting with "my grown up friends".
Things ARE beginning to feel "normal". I still need to get to KC to see the rest of the family and my friend Tracy. There are still many people to see here in Columbia. Time is becoming a factor now. But I am not going to let myself get stressed by it. (Yeah, Right!! LOL)
In the U.S. I'm not so much of a Panda. I know the rules and the culture intuitively. I've always been a bit of an odd nut here. The difference is how I "choose" to be an odd nut here and in Taiwan, I am an odd nut by mere virtue of my existence.
But I'll tell you a secret. I miss my life as a Panda. It is often uncomfortable for me in Taiwan. But, I do have dear and trusted friends and allies in James, Ray, Jack, Will, Claire and my Starbucks buddies. I miss my Taiwan family of May, Ken and Kevin. I miss Even, Hao Ting and my Chinese Teacher Zoe. I miss the adventure of living as a foreigner. I don't love the challenges, but I always manage to get over and around them with the help of my friends. I have a GREAT support system! AND, I miss the food soooooooo much!I've said it so many times since I've been here. Taiwan food is DELICIOUS!!
So, yeah, you can go home. It's familiar and comfortable again, and still a little odd. BUT... I like CoMO (Columbia, Missouri) my friends and family. I remains true as I said in a blog post some months back, America is my home. I will always be her son. Someday I will return for good. In the meantime, Taiwan calls me and I must answer.
Peace
戴格智
Feeling less like a Panda?
In my last post I pondered a few aspects of culture shock as they pertain specifically to me.
Being in Missouri the weather, or should I say the temperature, is much more palatable than Chicago and Galesburg. The weather here has been gray and gloomy, much like Taiwan was when I left.
I drove my car for the first time in a year. I actually worried a bit if it could still manage the gearshift without seeming like a beginning. My worries were unfounded. My body remembered the car quite well and it felt like the car remembered me too. It was a very pleasant experience driving my car again. I missed it more than I knew.
My Dear, Dear Friend Lyn gave me a coming home dinner party with my "Obama Buddies", Peter and Ty, Kurt, Lisa and their son Jake, and Charles and Monica. Lefty progressives all! It was fun to talk politics and culture. I was in a room of people who "got" me and I "got" them. Food and drink and lots of laughter. It was shear bliss.
I spent time with three of my former students yesterday, Duane, Dart, and Jerry. Most of the time was with Dart and Duane. I was very close to these guys as a teacher, mentor and role model. We laughed and clowned around just as before. I nagged Dart about his sagging pants and Duane about his smoking, just like before. Just as before, out of respect for me, Dart pulled up his pants and Duane didn't smoke in the car. Jerry was as "thought full" as ever. I always like that about him. A thinker, that my kind of guy!!
I've had a few Chinese moments along the way since being here. My desire to maintain what little ability I have to speak Chinese has prompted me to bold as I would not have been, nor needed to be in Taiwan. I've approached a few people that I thought looked Chinese and spoke to them in Chinese. It was both terrifying and gratifying at the same time. They clearly did not expect me to speak Chinese. And they were so pleased that I did. Most importantly, They Could UNDERSTAND me!!!!!!!!!! Say it with me people.... AWESOME!!!!! I now truly understand what it must feel like to a stranger who approaches me in Taiwan. They want to talk and are genuinely interested, but KNOW their language ability is limited.
My time with Sean and Marcy has been fun. They were at the dinner last night and was able to see a part of my world that they had never really seen been apart of before, me interacting with "my grown up friends".
Things ARE beginning to feel "normal". I still need to get to KC to see the rest of the family and my friend Tracy. There are still many people to see here in Columbia. Time is becoming a factor now. But I am not going to let myself get stressed by it. (Yeah, Right!! LOL)
In the U.S. I'm not so much of a Panda. I know the rules and the culture intuitively. I've always been a bit of an odd nut here. The difference is how I "choose" to be an odd nut here and in Taiwan, I am an odd nut by mere virtue of my existence.
But I'll tell you a secret. I miss my life as a Panda. It is often uncomfortable for me in Taiwan. But, I do have dear and trusted friends and allies in James, Ray, Jack, Will, Claire and my Starbucks buddies. I miss my Taiwan family of May, Ken and Kevin. I miss Even, Hao Ting and my Chinese Teacher Zoe. I miss the adventure of living as a foreigner. I don't love the challenges, but I always manage to get over and around them with the help of my friends. I have a GREAT support system! AND, I miss the food soooooooo much!I've said it so many times since I've been here. Taiwan food is DELICIOUS!!
So, yeah, you can go home. It's familiar and comfortable again, and still a little odd. BUT... I like CoMO (Columbia, Missouri) my friends and family. I remains true as I said in a blog post some months back, America is my home. I will always be her son. Someday I will return for good. In the meantime, Taiwan calls me and I must answer.
Peace
戴格智
Friday, January 15, 2010
Can you ever go "home" again?
Where in the world is D Today?
Sitting in the Gizmo, the student cafe at Knox College.
Tim is in a scholarship meeting now so I got some time to kill. So I thought I'd share some of my inititial unfiltered thoughts on being back in America.
If you are a traveler let me recommend any airline other than American Airlines. I will never EVER use this airline again. It was a HORRIBLE experience from beginning to end. And more importantly to me, they were not "nice" as I was getting screwed over. There was a serious f u buddy attitude the whole time.
On the Other hand, if you were ever to travel to Taiwan, I Highly recommend EVA Airways! They were gracious, caring and gentle with all of their travelers. I experienced it from the moment of trying to check in to the moment I stepped off the plane.
OK, so much airline reviews....
I've been back in the country for approximately 4 days now and I've found America to be.......... an uncomfortable place to be.
First of all it's physically uncomfortable. It's so cold. There is snow everywhere. I didn't like snow before I went to Taiwan. I really hate it now. Also, I've been bitten by some time of bug all over both of my legs. itch, itch.. scratch, scratch.
Second, The people here are so..... BIG! Both in height and girth. I feel very small.
I don't look like a Taiwan person, but I FEEL more like a Taiwan person right now.
I love being with Tim, but it's more and more clear we see the world very differently. That's really ok. Every man must find his own way. But as is often the case with youth, he feels he has all the answers. We are talking... correction, he's talking and I'm listening. Maybe he'll convince we. I am all ears. The kid is smart so it does my heart good to listen to him speak with not only intelligence but passion. Problem is smart passionate young people are not particularly good listeners.
The food tastes funny. I miss Taiwan food. And I want to use my chop sticks. Forks are too awkward. (Haha- I would have never said that a year ago.)
This is so odd, because I am going through a cultural transition in Taiwan, and now I'm going through on here. Is there anyplace I can feel "at home"? Today I feel most home in Taiwan. I'll keep you posted over the coming weeks.
Peace
戴格智
Sitting in the Gizmo, the student cafe at Knox College.
Tim is in a scholarship meeting now so I got some time to kill. So I thought I'd share some of my inititial unfiltered thoughts on being back in America.
If you are a traveler let me recommend any airline other than American Airlines. I will never EVER use this airline again. It was a HORRIBLE experience from beginning to end. And more importantly to me, they were not "nice" as I was getting screwed over. There was a serious f u buddy attitude the whole time.
On the Other hand, if you were ever to travel to Taiwan, I Highly recommend EVA Airways! They were gracious, caring and gentle with all of their travelers. I experienced it from the moment of trying to check in to the moment I stepped off the plane.
OK, so much airline reviews....
I've been back in the country for approximately 4 days now and I've found America to be.......... an uncomfortable place to be.
First of all it's physically uncomfortable. It's so cold. There is snow everywhere. I didn't like snow before I went to Taiwan. I really hate it now. Also, I've been bitten by some time of bug all over both of my legs. itch, itch.. scratch, scratch.
Second, The people here are so..... BIG! Both in height and girth. I feel very small.
I don't look like a Taiwan person, but I FEEL more like a Taiwan person right now.
I love being with Tim, but it's more and more clear we see the world very differently. That's really ok. Every man must find his own way. But as is often the case with youth, he feels he has all the answers. We are talking... correction, he's talking and I'm listening. Maybe he'll convince we. I am all ears. The kid is smart so it does my heart good to listen to him speak with not only intelligence but passion. Problem is smart passionate young people are not particularly good listeners.
The food tastes funny. I miss Taiwan food. And I want to use my chop sticks. Forks are too awkward. (Haha- I would have never said that a year ago.)
This is so odd, because I am going through a cultural transition in Taiwan, and now I'm going through on here. Is there anyplace I can feel "at home"? Today I feel most home in Taiwan. I'll keep you posted over the coming weeks.
Peace
戴格智
Sunday, August 2, 2009
More Growing Pains - May Force Silence
Where in the World is D Today?
Listening to “Angry Music” in Starbucks. The playlist tonight is Living Colour, James Brown, Hazard To Your Booty, Jay-Z, and The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
I’m really frustrated right now. Nah…. Frustrated is the wrong word….. Hmmmm? Is there ONE word to describe feeling lost, lonely, angry, annoyed, stupid and worried all at the same time?
Culture Shock is getting the better of me right now. It feels like a losing battle and I'll never get really comfortable. I know intellectually it'll be better at some point. But Emotionally, right now, it feels horrible.
I want to talk, but, every time I open my mouth …. I get misunderstood. I think that misunderstand comes from a natural language barrier, my inability to express the complexities of my mind in elementary English. Also adding to this are the huge cultural differences of age, background, and life experience.
I can see my friends genuinely WANT to understand what’s bothering me, but too often, because of cultural differences I think, they do not see why this thing or that thing is such a worry. And I get “just don’t worry about it. Be happy.” I want to scream every time I hear that phrase now. I hear it a lot!
The basic choice I have now is to not say anything and just put on a happy face. That seems the best (most culturally proper) thing for me to do. It’s good for them, but for me…. Mmm not so much. Talking is good therapy for me. So will apologize in advance that more of my blog entries might tend to be a bit on the depressed side of things.
I suppose I could just write and not share, but that sort of defeats the purpose. The point of the blog is to let you see the world from my perspective… to let you inside my head a bit.
Anybody care to give me your thoughts on what you want to see on the blog?
I’m going to try something new now. I am going to post some song lyrics. The song is Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The song speaks in metaphors just like I do and it resonates with me strongly right now. When I get frustrated I walk. Hopefully you’ll understand when you read. I know there are a few mistakes in the Chinese, but I don’t know how to change them.
Peace ~ 戴格智
Under The Bridge ~ Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sometimes I feel
Like I dont have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angel
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I drive on her streets
cause shes my companion
I walk through her hills
cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie
I dont ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
Its hard to believe
That theres nobody out there
Its hard to believe
That Im all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I dont ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away
橋下〜紅辣椒
有時候，我覺得
我不喜歡的合作夥伴
有時候，我覺得
像我唯一的朋友
是我住在城市
天使城
孤獨的我
我們一起哭
我開她的街道
我的同伴事業喜
我走過她的丘陵
導致她知道我是誰
她看到我的好事
她親吻我的風
我從來不擔心
現在這是一個謊言
我不想要的感覺
像我這一天
請帶我去的地方我愛
把我所有的道路
其很難相信
這人有theres
其很難相信
即時通訊獨自
至少我有她的愛
這個城市，她愛我
孤獨的我
我們一起哭
我不想要的感覺
像我這一天
請帶我去的地方我愛
把我所有的道路
在市中心的橋樑
就是我提請一些血液
在市中心的橋樑
我無法獲得足夠的
在市中心的橋樑
忘了我的愛
在市中心的橋樑
我給了我生命
Listening to “Angry Music” in Starbucks. The playlist tonight is Living Colour, James Brown, Hazard To Your Booty, Jay-Z, and The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
I’m really frustrated right now. Nah…. Frustrated is the wrong word….. Hmmmm? Is there ONE word to describe feeling lost, lonely, angry, annoyed, stupid and worried all at the same time?
Culture Shock is getting the better of me right now. It feels like a losing battle and I'll never get really comfortable. I know intellectually it'll be better at some point. But Emotionally, right now, it feels horrible.
I want to talk, but, every time I open my mouth …. I get misunderstood. I think that misunderstand comes from a natural language barrier, my inability to express the complexities of my mind in elementary English. Also adding to this are the huge cultural differences of age, background, and life experience.
I can see my friends genuinely WANT to understand what’s bothering me, but too often, because of cultural differences I think, they do not see why this thing or that thing is such a worry. And I get “just don’t worry about it. Be happy.” I want to scream every time I hear that phrase now. I hear it a lot!
The basic choice I have now is to not say anything and just put on a happy face. That seems the best (most culturally proper) thing for me to do. It’s good for them, but for me…. Mmm not so much. Talking is good therapy for me. So will apologize in advance that more of my blog entries might tend to be a bit on the depressed side of things.
I suppose I could just write and not share, but that sort of defeats the purpose. The point of the blog is to let you see the world from my perspective… to let you inside my head a bit.
Anybody care to give me your thoughts on what you want to see on the blog?
I’m going to try something new now. I am going to post some song lyrics. The song is Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The song speaks in metaphors just like I do and it resonates with me strongly right now. When I get frustrated I walk. Hopefully you’ll understand when you read. I know there are a few mistakes in the Chinese, but I don’t know how to change them.
Peace ~ 戴格智
Under The Bridge ~ Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sometimes I feel
Like I dont have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angel
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I drive on her streets
cause shes my companion
I walk through her hills
cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie
I dont ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
Its hard to believe
That theres nobody out there
Its hard to believe
That Im all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I dont ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away
橋下〜紅辣椒
有時候，我覺得
我不喜歡的合作夥伴
有時候，我覺得
像我唯一的朋友
是我住在城市
天使城
孤獨的我
我們一起哭
我開她的街道
我的同伴事業喜
我走過她的丘陵
導致她知道我是誰
她看到我的好事
她親吻我的風
我從來不擔心
現在這是一個謊言
我不想要的感覺
像我這一天
請帶我去的地方我愛
把我所有的道路
其很難相信
這人有theres
其很難相信
即時通訊獨自
至少我有她的愛
這個城市，她愛我
孤獨的我
我們一起哭
我不想要的感覺
像我這一天
請帶我去的地方我愛
把我所有的道路
在市中心的橋樑
就是我提請一些血液
在市中心的橋樑
我無法獲得足夠的
在市中心的橋樑
忘了我的愛
在市中心的橋樑
我給了我生命
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