I Think Therefore I Am.. Really!?

Where in the World is D Today?

Try to STOP thinking.

I think, therefore I am. What the heck is that supposed to mean? I think Descartes got it all wrong. (Warning: What is about to follow is going to go in a circle. Usually I am VERY concrete sequential but my brain is all over the road these days. I am aware of it but I couldn't get these thoughts in a straight line.)

I am first and foremost, a THINKER. As a parent and as a teacher I have thought to myself too many times to count, "What were you thinking?!" Usually followed by a, "I don't know". Followed by the grown up, "You WEREN'T! You didn't think!" So.... If they weren't thinking, did they stop existing. NO! Even when I secretly wished it. (Of students, not of my kids..... well maybe once or twice.)

As an educated and "thinking" person, I get what Descartes was saying. But at this point in my life.... Well, I just think it's dumb. I also read some Asian philosophy years ago. Forgive me if you know of this and I misquote it. It went something like this: "There is nothing you must Be. There is nothing you must Do. But it's important to know that fire burns and when it rains the earth gets wet. Well, DUH! But really, I don't get it. I'm trying, but I know there's more there than meets the eye.

Over the past week, plus a few days, in dealing with my mothers death and trying to get my brain and heart in the same place. (by the way, I don't think it can be done. (Emotions and rational think are strange bedfellows. They ARE mutually exclusive.) No less than 3 people, all older and wiser whom opinions I deeply respect, have said in their own way the following. "Darryl, you are WAY too serious. Lighten up and have fun in life. Enjoy TODAY." I completely and whole heartedly agree. But in order to do that, I have to ... (say it with me) Stop thinking so much! Because it seems to me, that those whose ARE having the most fun in life are the same ones who I would say, "What were you thinking?!", to. As they smile that impish smile and shrug their shoulders.

I haven't seen the movie Yes Man, well gosh, because it hasn't come out yet. But from the previews, I think I need to be more of a yes man. So how does one, me in this case, go from being a Dudley Do-Right, Jimeney Cricket type, to WooHOO! Living la vida loca. There's got to be a middle ground right?!

In trying to have "fun" in life, something I've never been consistently good at, I think I've learned something I'm gonna have to do. Forgive easily. Myself and others. That doesn't mean I or anyone else get a free pass. Here's the deal, as long as there have been people on the earth, I believe Adam and Eve were the first two, they have been screwing up. Adam and Eve had a pretty sweet deal. Take care of a garden that really took care of itself. There were only two people so it's not like there was a lot of trash. The earth was perfect so things kinda took care of itself. They got to hang out with God. OK, let me say that again. They got to hangout with God. So it's doesn't really get any cooler than that. So in life was about as good as you could get. They was only one rule. Don't eat from that tree over there. But NO, they just couldn't do that one very simple thing and don't get me started on their knucklehead kids. Did God forgive them, Of course. Were there consequences, you bet. Big Ones. Did Adam and Eve go on to have fruitful and productive lives. Absolutely.

The thing about forgiveness of is we have to learn how to forgive ourselves too. That's probably tougher than getting the forgiveness of others. At least it is for me. I forgive others far more easily than myself.

Back to this fun thing and thinking, or not thinking in this case. If I set out on this quest and I likely to fail, a lot, at first. I shudder to think, oops, I'm not supposed to do that. Old habits die hard. Sorry I digress.

Forgiving failure of myself and others is a must. So if you know me and I screw up, know I'm a bit out of my element right now. There's no malicious intent. Cut me and those other goofballs in our lives a little slack when you want to say, "What the Heck where you thinking?!"

"I wasn't" Descartes was wrong. Because I'm still here and it appears I'm all wet as well.