A Near Catastrophe... In My Book

Where in the World is D Today?

Thanking his lucky stars for the lack of a robe!

I've decided that "normal" has a sliding scale. Or am I the only one who has looked at someone doing something that seems OK to them and responded, "DUDE?!"? If you've never had a similar response, skip today's blog entry. If you have, feel free to proceed.

In many ways I am like every other man out there. I have multiple remotes, thinks "pull my finger" jokes are funny, love the Miller Lite Man Law commercials, and still secretly wishes he still had his Farah Fawcett poster from the 70's. (I actually never had THAT poster. But I know men who did and do have that secret wish.) In other ways, I'm WAY different from every other man out there. I'm OK with the Designated Hitter, I like romantic comedies, find cooking and cleaning therapeutic, and believes chivalry is proper, not old fashioned.

Today, there was a snafu with the modeling assignments. No problem. To err is human... Two models were assigned to the same class at the same time. I arrived first for what I thought was a clothed assignment. I enter the room.
"Do you have a robe?"
"I'm sorry, I was told this was a clothed assignment."
"Did you Bring...A... Robe? There were to models assigned. There was only supposed to be one. I don't know if there's going to be two. Blah, blah, blah" (My head is spinning now. Why is she angry with me?
"Yes, I have a locker down the hall?"
"Good. Go get it. We'll work with both of you if the other model shows."

I'm walking down the hall thinking. Cool, I can use the extra money that comes with modeling sans clothing. I get my stuff, come back in the room. The second model has arrived. It's a WOMAN!(I look at her. She looks at me. I wish I could say I said "Oh crap." I didn't, but it was something very similar. But, thank heavens, she got the same message as I did and did not have a robe. Catastrophe Averted!! I make sure she is comfortable with me being nude and her not. She's OK. We are professionals and class goes on without a hitch. Except at the end when we both thought the teacher said the last pose would be of us together. Slight panic from us both. There were two platforms and the teacher wanted the students to put both of us in the picture. We were never closer than 5 feet together the whole time and never faced each other.

I was SOOOOOOOOO thankful that she did not have a robe. This is were I probably differ from most other men. I can hear it now, "DUDE?!" Yes indeed we were both professional, I would have been so amazingly embarrassed if she were nude. Let me explain.

The times that I have modeled nude have been the most NON-SEXUAL experiences of my life without clothes. Truly. Art models are glorified bowls of fruits. Without clothes, I'm fruit with musculature. It's so non-sexual that when I first did it I almost wanted to say, "Just for the record. It's really cold in this room." A mans body acts very differently than a womans when he's cold. Anyway... We wear robes during breaks, if for no other reason than nekkid fruit walking around the room is just weird!

Men are also HYPER-VISUAL creatures, even in a cold room. We know it, and I think most women know it too. Many a man has been elbowed or slapped in the back of his head because of his eyes. My eyes could have only lead me into trouble today.

I need money for the holiday's as much as anyone. A robe for her would have forced me to leave a job on the table. Because, I'm nothing if not a gentleman.