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Where in the World is D Today?
Appreciating his Elders
There is not a single day that I don’t think about my Dad. Tommy Douglas is a special man indeed. I have mentioned my dad in passing in previous blog entries, but never to the time to elaborate.
Let me say two things that anybody who knows me have heard me say about my father. “He is the Best MAN I know.” And, “I love that man.” I can’t talk about my dad without those two phrases. My dad is like many men from his generation, a man of fairly few words. Though compared to what he was like when we were kids, he’s down right chatty now.
My dad through those few words as a kid taught me to walk with a level of dignity that too many young Black men lack these days. He taught me “You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes.” I think that phase every time I polish my shoes. For those of you who know me, think for a moment. Have you ever seen me in dress shoes that didn’t shine? Or dirty scruffy unkept falling apart sneakers?
My dad never said anything other than that one phrase on shoes. He didn’t elaborate one bit. But I got the message in how he said it and as he showed me how to polish my shoes. Here’s what I take from that very simple phrase. We are all judged like it or not on some level by our appearance. So put forth your best always, because you never know who’s looking and what judgements they’re making about you. Back then, access to instant shine liquid shoe polish was not as common as it is today, besides it didn’t look as good and it lacked the pride factor of wiping, brushing and buffing.
It also said that a man who takes time to shine his shoes is a person to be reckoned with. He takes time to do things right and pays attention to detail. That’s the man you want to hire. In a day when it was tough for Black men to make it in the business world, not to mention the world in general full of segregation and subjugations that my dad grew up in it meant a lot to have good shoes. My dad didn’t have those good shoes, but he ALWAYS made sure his children did. Let’s face it, Shiny shoes command respect.
Here’s another little pearl of wisdom my dad laid on me one day in the Bowlings office supply delivery car. (Oh by the way, I was probably 15 or 16 years old when I learned that working 2 or 3 jobs was NOT, normal.) So I mean it deeply when I say I love that man. Anyway…. The pearl my dad gave me was a total mystery to me at the time. I won’t explain it here. I will leave with you as I received it. And you know what? I asked my dad about it and he has no recollection of saying it. But it was seared into my memory. Here’s the conversation: “Daddy why are we poor?” “We ain’t poor, we broke.”
I didn’t figure it out til I was 30 or so. Leave a comment when you figure it out.
Two other elders I’d like to mention ever so briefly, because they impacted me more than you, or they, will ever know are two White men. Is it significant that they are White, yes. Because they shared their knowledge of “their” world with me. The I won’t mention by name because he is known in the Columbia community and he might not want me to share his name in a public way. He was a mentor of sorts to me while I worked for the MO Dept of Education. His simple bit of wisdom was, “If you don’t have anything substantive to add to the discussion, it’s best to just be quiet.” Truer words were never spoken. Because, when you speak little, people listen more intently when you do have something to add.
The other person was Dr. Brown, my faculty advisor at Baker University. While I’m a little ashamed to admit it now, I used to be a hard right republican and was adamantly opposed to affirmative action. I wanted to make it purely on my merit. Then one day Dr. Brown told me that if a White person wanted to give me an opportunity because I was Black, take it and run. Don’t look back. And when I get their, then prove I was worth the shot. He said flatly, “white people, men especially are running the world so take you how ever you can get it.” I was still a righty republican, but what he said made sense. I took his advice and have never regretted it. Because you know what, he was right. I’m living with a 23 yr. old righty republican now. Full of the same piss and vinegar I had back then.
I only mention three here, but there are other Uncle’s, Aunts, Grand Mothers and Teachers I’ve gained from along the way. So now I look back with pride at their words and wisdom, while I look forward walking down the streets of Jhongli City, Taiwan, shoes shining bright, and thank the Lord above for good men and the good sense to listen to them.
Thanks J in Columbia. Thanks Dr. Brown where ever you are. And, Thanks Pop…. I love that man!
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