Posts
Where in the World is D Today?
Wondering what in the world happened?!
What do I mean by that? Well, something has shifted in my brain. I love my family deeply. Family is everything when you think about it. They will love you even when you’re being a jackass. They know most of your secrets and end the end they will choose you and stick by your side when everyone else has left you. At least that’s how my family is. If your family isn’t like mine, that is really too bad, REALLY? Anyway… I digress.
My point before was that as much as I love my family, there was this HUGE thing inside that could not wait to get back to Taiwan. My life here is anything but perfect, but this NEED to get back here was…. well…. WEIRD. I don’t really know where it came from. That’s why I wonder what happened? When did this shift happen in me? I don’t have a girlfriend, so I wasn’t rushing back for that. I did miss the food greatly. But, I ate great food in the U.S. My Chinese is mediocre at best on a good day. Meaning I spend a good portion of my life completely in the dark and confused. So the joy of confusion was not what was eating at me. And as I’ve stated many times to friends and family, at the end of the day, I am ALONE in Taiwan and that can at times be very lonely. Nonetheless, I missed my life as a Panda.
Here’s what I “think” may have happened. I am a guy in transition in his life. Transformation takes time. I have on occasion said “Taiwan was my destiny.” I didn’t then and still don’t now, fully understand the impact of that statement. I just know that things worked out in a way that seems as though I’m suppose to be here doing…. Something. What? I have no flippin’ idea.
This is what I DO know. When I came back, I could breathe. My chest was just lighter. When I walked down the street, people smiled and sometimes waved. I could be wrong, but I think my neighborhood missed their community Panda. Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. My first 24hours back were just awesome. I was Happy. I don’t say that often! Really, I just felt Happy. Comfortable. I spoke the best Chinese I could muster and it was good enough. They understood me and I them. When I had my first meal back, it was simply heaven in my taste buds! And the weather was AWESOME! (I've never loved the cold of the midwest in winter. Tolerate, endure, yes. Love? Nope, not ever gonna happen.)
So the question is do I miss my family and friends in the U.S.? ABSOLUTELY! As much as I miss my family and they miss me, I know that just want me to be happy. Like I said before, family sticks with you through whatever. They know I’ll return someday to be in their presence. In the meantime, I will enjoy their support as I continue to try to figure out what it is I want to do when I grow up.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, February 1, 2010
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Where in the World is D Today?
Honestly?.... Trying to decide if he’ll be happier ignoring Christmas or embracing it.
Ok… Really…. I can’t fully ignore Christmas. Even though Taiwan doesn’t “celebrate” Christmas, It definitely recognizes it.
In 48 years, I have never been alone and away from my family on Christmas. Never. Today, I am somewhere in the range of 7700 miles from all that is most dear to me on a High Holiday on the Christian calendar. As an adult, Christmas has always been a religious holiday, the celebrating of the birth of Christ. And until the arrival of Sean and Tim in my life, I’d been generally underwhelmed by all the Christmas “hype”. The emphasis on Santa and materialism makes me into a real scrooge.
I’ve tended to even-keeled outwardly when it comes to holidays and the sort. But I feel them deeply.
In my lesson to my third graders I explained how my family comes together at Christmas. They were SHOCKED at how large my family is and that often times I don’t know all the names of the people in the room. But I don’t have to know your name to love you. If you’re family, it’s all good. Give me a hug and kiss! Those hugs and kiss is what I am going to miss the most. We love on you outwardly in my family. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE those big deep hugs and kisses on the cheek. The smile of recognition when you come into the room is utterly and completely validating. In my family you can ALWAYS come home. We WANT you home, and MISS you when you’re not there…. (pause….. fighting back the tears now. This is why I was trying to ignore the day.)…….. As I’ve gotten older, my family has come to mean more and more to me. I love them and miss them all the more on the holidays.)
I miss the hugs my big brother Kirk and him calling me “baby boy”. Kirk is a big guy with a heart to match. I miss the protectiveness and steadiness of my big sister Marian. Memories of her laugh always make me smile. I miss the sensitivity of my little brother Steve. He is the lost sheep of sorts. We often get cross with one another, but I’ve never, never, never stopped believing in him and I KNOW beyond any measure of doubt he feels the same about me. Even though we drive the other nuts at times, he’s still my brother and if you mess with him, I’ll send you into the sweet by and by.
It goes without saying, but I must… I miss Sean and Tim. They are the two single most important people in the world to me. They taught me to lighten up during with is usually a very heavy time for me. I miss seeing thing laugh and joke and play with Sholanda, Sharese, Tot, Stevie, Marquis, and all of their other cousins. And there are many cousins. I miss the goofiness of Taylor, Trinity, and Ellis and how goofy they make my brother Kirk.
I miss the way my Aunt Lula’s eyes squint when she smiles and they way my Aunt Sam calls me “baby” and “sweetheart”. I miss the thought provoking conversations with my cousin Reggie, my uncle Art and Uncle Brother. (Yeah, you read that right. There is somebody in every family with a nickname that is a little confusing if you’re not in the family.)
I miss the continuous laughter when we are together. We don’t just love each other, we actually LIKE each other.
I miss hearing people call me Papa, Uncle Darryl, D, D.A., Preacher (my Grandmother used to call me that) and the occasional, “What’s your name again?” You really have to see how many people we can squeeze into one room.
I miss the freckles that are such a common trait in the Parker clan. My grandmother had them, my momma had them, all her brothers and sisters have, me and my brothers and sister have them, and all my cousins of a certain age have them. They come later in life. It’s a family trait that is undeniable.
I miss the food. GOD how I miss the food! I am especially craving my sister Marian’s spaghetti and macaroni and cheese!
I miss the quiet confident smile of my favorite…. Ok, well actually, technically she’s my only formal, Sister-in-Law Theresa. She and Karen my other Sister-in-Law, sort of, have been in this family since our high school days.
I will miss my dad. My Dad is the BEST man I know. Did I say I love that man? I Love that man. My dad is strong, steady and gentle. Most everything I know about kindness and patience, I learn from him. I learned just from watching him. He is completely unflappable. And his wife Juanita, is as thoughtful a woman as I know. We’ve always gotten along well.
My Family, God Bless ‘em, is a mish-mash of all that is good in the world. We’ve got it all. Black, White, Asian, Gay, Straight, Conservative, Liberal, Radicals… You name it and you just might be able to say… “Yeah, that is so much like……..” There are those with whom I share no blood or legal tie through marriage, that are as much family with every right, privilege, and burden that comes with every family. And to be perfectly honest, when I’m analyzing the family, as in moments like this, is the ONLY time it really dawns on me. But each is loved as much as if they were blood.
At the top I mentioned this being a religious holiday. It IS and always will be for me. I need not say anything else. I don’t miss it. It is ever present in my life. My faith and ALL associated with it makes it possible for me to withstand these waves of emotion. I really don’t know how other people survive the vicissitudes of life. I know it’s the main reason I’m still standing. Every man or woman walks there own path. And that’s OK too.
This holiday is Big for me. Maybe I didn’t know just how much until it kept creeping closer and closer. The closer it got the heavier my heart became. I share this with you, so you know just how blessed a person I am. I’ve got these great wonderful people that are inextricably woven into the very fiber of who I am. And we love to be together on Christmas.
As you have no doubt deduced at this point, I can't ignore Christmas, even if I tried. Embracing it in the best way I know how is the only option.
Peace On Earth. Good Will To Men
MERRY CHRISTMAS
戴格智
(also known as Papa, Uncle Darryl, D, D.A., Preacher, or just simply ….. Darryl)
Peace
Honestly?.... Trying to decide if he’ll be happier ignoring Christmas or embracing it.
Ok… Really…. I can’t fully ignore Christmas. Even though Taiwan doesn’t “celebrate” Christmas, It definitely recognizes it.
In 48 years, I have never been alone and away from my family on Christmas. Never. Today, I am somewhere in the range of 7700 miles from all that is most dear to me on a High Holiday on the Christian calendar. As an adult, Christmas has always been a religious holiday, the celebrating of the birth of Christ. And until the arrival of Sean and Tim in my life, I’d been generally underwhelmed by all the Christmas “hype”. The emphasis on Santa and materialism makes me into a real scrooge.
I’ve tended to even-keeled outwardly when it comes to holidays and the sort. But I feel them deeply.
In my lesson to my third graders I explained how my family comes together at Christmas. They were SHOCKED at how large my family is and that often times I don’t know all the names of the people in the room. But I don’t have to know your name to love you. If you’re family, it’s all good. Give me a hug and kiss! Those hugs and kiss is what I am going to miss the most. We love on you outwardly in my family. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE those big deep hugs and kisses on the cheek. The smile of recognition when you come into the room is utterly and completely validating. In my family you can ALWAYS come home. We WANT you home, and MISS you when you’re not there…. (pause….. fighting back the tears now. This is why I was trying to ignore the day.)…….. As I’ve gotten older, my family has come to mean more and more to me. I love them and miss them all the more on the holidays.)
I miss the hugs my big brother Kirk and him calling me “baby boy”. Kirk is a big guy with a heart to match. I miss the protectiveness and steadiness of my big sister Marian. Memories of her laugh always make me smile. I miss the sensitivity of my little brother Steve. He is the lost sheep of sorts. We often get cross with one another, but I’ve never, never, never stopped believing in him and I KNOW beyond any measure of doubt he feels the same about me. Even though we drive the other nuts at times, he’s still my brother and if you mess with him, I’ll send you into the sweet by and by.
It goes without saying, but I must… I miss Sean and Tim. They are the two single most important people in the world to me. They taught me to lighten up during with is usually a very heavy time for me. I miss seeing thing laugh and joke and play with Sholanda, Sharese, Tot, Stevie, Marquis, and all of their other cousins. And there are many cousins. I miss the goofiness of Taylor, Trinity, and Ellis and how goofy they make my brother Kirk.
I miss the way my Aunt Lula’s eyes squint when she smiles and they way my Aunt Sam calls me “baby” and “sweetheart”. I miss the thought provoking conversations with my cousin Reggie, my uncle Art and Uncle Brother. (Yeah, you read that right. There is somebody in every family with a nickname that is a little confusing if you’re not in the family.)
I miss the continuous laughter when we are together. We don’t just love each other, we actually LIKE each other.
I miss hearing people call me Papa, Uncle Darryl, D, D.A., Preacher (my Grandmother used to call me that) and the occasional, “What’s your name again?” You really have to see how many people we can squeeze into one room.
I miss the freckles that are such a common trait in the Parker clan. My grandmother had them, my momma had them, all her brothers and sisters have, me and my brothers and sister have them, and all my cousins of a certain age have them. They come later in life. It’s a family trait that is undeniable.
I miss the food. GOD how I miss the food! I am especially craving my sister Marian’s spaghetti and macaroni and cheese!
I miss the quiet confident smile of my favorite…. Ok, well actually, technically she’s my only formal, Sister-in-Law Theresa. She and Karen my other Sister-in-Law, sort of, have been in this family since our high school days.
I will miss my dad. My Dad is the BEST man I know. Did I say I love that man? I Love that man. My dad is strong, steady and gentle. Most everything I know about kindness and patience, I learn from him. I learned just from watching him. He is completely unflappable. And his wife Juanita, is as thoughtful a woman as I know. We’ve always gotten along well.
My Family, God Bless ‘em, is a mish-mash of all that is good in the world. We’ve got it all. Black, White, Asian, Gay, Straight, Conservative, Liberal, Radicals… You name it and you just might be able to say… “Yeah, that is so much like……..” There are those with whom I share no blood or legal tie through marriage, that are as much family with every right, privilege, and burden that comes with every family. And to be perfectly honest, when I’m analyzing the family, as in moments like this, is the ONLY time it really dawns on me. But each is loved as much as if they were blood.
At the top I mentioned this being a religious holiday. It IS and always will be for me. I need not say anything else. I don’t miss it. It is ever present in my life. My faith and ALL associated with it makes it possible for me to withstand these waves of emotion. I really don’t know how other people survive the vicissitudes of life. I know it’s the main reason I’m still standing. Every man or woman walks there own path. And that’s OK too.
This holiday is Big for me. Maybe I didn’t know just how much until it kept creeping closer and closer. The closer it got the heavier my heart became. I share this with you, so you know just how blessed a person I am. I’ve got these great wonderful people that are inextricably woven into the very fiber of who I am. And we love to be together on Christmas.
As you have no doubt deduced at this point, I can't ignore Christmas, even if I tried. Embracing it in the best way I know how is the only option.
Peace On Earth. Good Will To Men
MERRY CHRISTMAS
戴格智
(also known as Papa, Uncle Darryl, D, D.A., Preacher, or just simply ….. Darryl)
Peace
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Something New for Non-Native English Speakers 一些新的非英語母語者
Where In The World is D Today?
Adding new features to the blog.
Hello, If you look over to the left, you will see Google Translate. It is not a "perfect" translation instrument but it's better than others I've tried. If you are not a native English speaker and are interested in my blog give it a try!
If you're a native English speaker, a friend or family member in the U.S. Check out the Link below and learn some Chinese. Peggy is a Super Cool friend of mind and has fun teaching. I think you'll like her videos. http://www.peggyteacheschinese.com/
Good Luck
戴格智
凡在今天的世界是D？
增加新的功能的博客。
您好，如果您查看的左側，您會看到谷歌翻譯。這不是一個“完美”的翻譯工具，但總比別人我已經試過。如果您不是以英語為母語，並有興趣在我的博客嘗試一下！
祝您好運
戴格智
Adding new features to the blog.
Hello, If you look over to the left, you will see Google Translate. It is not a "perfect" translation instrument but it's better than others I've tried. If you are not a native English speaker and are interested in my blog give it a try!
If you're a native English speaker, a friend or family member in the U.S. Check out the Link below and learn some Chinese. Peggy is a Super Cool friend of mind and has fun teaching. I think you'll like her videos. http://www.peggyteacheschinese.com/
Good Luck
戴格智
凡在今天的世界是D？
增加新的功能的博客。
您好，如果您查看的左側，您會看到谷歌翻譯。這不是一個“完美”的翻譯工具，但總比別人我已經試過。如果您不是以英語為母語，並有興趣在我的博客嘗試一下！
祝您好運
戴格智
Monday, August 17, 2009
Especially for Family and Friends In America
Where in the World is D Today?
Safe and Sound in the North of Taiwan.
I want to tell everyone I am Fine. I am Safe, Dry, and cared for by some great people in Taiwan.
The Typhoon hit the south part of Taiwan hardest. The conditions down there are indeed quite terrible. But where I am is very safe.
There was an Earth quake in the sea south of Japan today. It registered a 6.7. That's a good size earth quake, and it was felt in Taiwan. My apartment shook for a good 20-30 seconds. Which feels like and eternity while its happening. I was awake when it happened. I appreciate Mother Nature giving me a break this time and not doing it in the middle of the night. LOL
I don't like earth quakes. Not even a little. But it is a fact of life here and I accept it. Just like Typhoons. It one of those things that comes with living on an Island.
Try not to worry too much. Remember to listen for my city Jhongli, (pronounced jong lee).
I love you all and miss you very much.
Peace
戴格智 a.k.a Darryl, Papa, D, D.A.
Safe and Sound in the North of Taiwan.
I want to tell everyone I am Fine. I am Safe, Dry, and cared for by some great people in Taiwan.
The Typhoon hit the south part of Taiwan hardest. The conditions down there are indeed quite terrible. But where I am is very safe.
There was an Earth quake in the sea south of Japan today. It registered a 6.7. That's a good size earth quake, and it was felt in Taiwan. My apartment shook for a good 20-30 seconds. Which feels like and eternity while its happening. I was awake when it happened. I appreciate Mother Nature giving me a break this time and not doing it in the middle of the night. LOL
I don't like earth quakes. Not even a little. But it is a fact of life here and I accept it. Just like Typhoons. It one of those things that comes with living on an Island.
Try not to worry too much. Remember to listen for my city Jhongli, (pronounced jong lee).
I love you all and miss you very much.
Peace
戴格智 a.k.a Darryl, Papa, D, D.A.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Darryl the Scizophrenic Panda 戴格智 精神分裂症大熊貓
Where in the World is D Today?
Trying to stay balanced in the off center situation that is my life. (I'm not really Scizophrenic, It is only a metaphor for what is to come as you read.)
Before I start, I have to throw a mad shout out to Lyn, Sean and Tim, henceforth know as Team Douglas. Without them I would have no chance at all at balance.
I am sitting on an outside patio at a tea shop near Starbucks. I think the temperature is about a million degrees. It’s just stupid crazy hot today. But, I’m in the shade and there’s a nice breeze so it ok. There’s a gazillion people in Starbucks so I needed to find someplace else to chill.
I’m trying to decide on writing bullet points or the usual narrative. Hmmm………. Ok Free-write stream of conscious it’s going to be. Hope you can understand my scattered brain-ness.
I have two lives. One life in U.S.A ........*Long Pause* I just got interrupted my a very nice older woman. She just came up and started looking over my shoulder at the computer. My response… Mmmm…. Hello?... One hour later, we just finished our conversation. Dang I forgot to get a picture! As I was saying…..
I have two lives. One life in the U.S.A and one in Taiwan. Life number one in the U.S.A. is taking it’s toll on me. Six months ago, I had planned to sell the house, but NOT right away. That time table has been moved to NOW not later. This is where the previous shout out comes in. I can’t manage this from Taiwan. I NEED the help of others. Sean, Tim and Lyn have been my A Team with Lyn as Captain. All the details are too difficult to explain here. But suffice it to say it’s a complicated process of phone calls and emails involving friends, family, bankers, lawyers, and a real estate agent, Alicia who will get a euber shout out if she can sell my house quickly without me losing a bunch of money. (It’s a really good house. Somebody go buy it! Right NOW! I don’t know if the power of suggestion works here, but it certainly can’t hurt.)
This move has caught us all off guard. Things happen in life. In my clear state of mind I will say simply ‘you play the cards you are dealt’. I might want an Ace of Diamonds, but I was dealt a 3 of Clubs. There is nothing I can do about it. I have to make the 3 of Clubs work until the next hand. I am able to stay clear in my head only with the love and support of others! And unlike a typical card game where you keep your cards hidden, I can show my cards to others and ask them what the best way is to make that crazy 3 of Clubs work when all the other cards are Diamonds. So lately there has been a lot of questions like that start, “What if…” or “Maybe we can…” and “But what about…” Then there is trying to anticipate the play of people at the table. “If I do ____, then maybe they will _____.
Caught unwittingly in the middle of this Tim. When the house is sold, he and I become in Homeless. That is not a good feeling. We have only talked about it in a superficial but usually practical way. BUT, my guess is this is having a profound emotional impact on him. I am sure it is on Sean. He has always been the most sensitive, in a good way, of the three of us. (Boys if you’re reading this, remember how much I love you and how we’ve always managed to get through before. And Tim, remember the Always Lasting promise I made when you were a baby.)
On to life number 2, Life in Taiwan… Life in Taiwan is generally good. I’ve made some good friends. I love the food and people in general. I have a job I like. I have a decent apartment in walking distance of my job. Really life is good here. So what else could I want? Hmmm What else could a SINGLE guy want? I’ll give you three guess’. No, Red Sox season tickets was a good guess, but the commute from Jhongli is too difficult. Try agan. No. A seemingly reasonable guess, but anyone who really knows me, knows it has NEVER been about ‘the booty’ for me. If it were just about sex, I could walk 5 minutes in any direction from my apartment and handle that. Try again, last chance. Yes! A girlfriend, and maybe that could lead to a good wife.
(I am opening up a generally very private part of my life. It’s a little scary. I’ve written a couple of paragraphs and this is getting long. So will finish in the next blog post. Look for something referencing lonely panda’s. I haven’t thought of a good title yet.)
Trying to stay balanced in the off center situation that is my life. (I'm not really Scizophrenic, It is only a metaphor for what is to come as you read.)
Before I start, I have to throw a mad shout out to Lyn, Sean and Tim, henceforth know as Team Douglas. Without them I would have no chance at all at balance.
I am sitting on an outside patio at a tea shop near Starbucks. I think the temperature is about a million degrees. It’s just stupid crazy hot today. But, I’m in the shade and there’s a nice breeze so it ok. There’s a gazillion people in Starbucks so I needed to find someplace else to chill.
I’m trying to decide on writing bullet points or the usual narrative. Hmmm………. Ok Free-write stream of conscious it’s going to be. Hope you can understand my scattered brain-ness.
I have two lives. One life in U.S.A ........*Long Pause* I just got interrupted my a very nice older woman. She just came up and started looking over my shoulder at the computer. My response… Mmmm…. Hello?... One hour later, we just finished our conversation. Dang I forgot to get a picture! As I was saying…..
I have two lives. One life in the U.S.A and one in Taiwan. Life number one in the U.S.A. is taking it’s toll on me. Six months ago, I had planned to sell the house, but NOT right away. That time table has been moved to NOW not later. This is where the previous shout out comes in. I can’t manage this from Taiwan. I NEED the help of others. Sean, Tim and Lyn have been my A Team with Lyn as Captain. All the details are too difficult to explain here. But suffice it to say it’s a complicated process of phone calls and emails involving friends, family, bankers, lawyers, and a real estate agent, Alicia who will get a euber shout out if she can sell my house quickly without me losing a bunch of money. (It’s a really good house. Somebody go buy it! Right NOW! I don’t know if the power of suggestion works here, but it certainly can’t hurt.)
This move has caught us all off guard. Things happen in life. In my clear state of mind I will say simply ‘you play the cards you are dealt’. I might want an Ace of Diamonds, but I was dealt a 3 of Clubs. There is nothing I can do about it. I have to make the 3 of Clubs work until the next hand. I am able to stay clear in my head only with the love and support of others! And unlike a typical card game where you keep your cards hidden, I can show my cards to others and ask them what the best way is to make that crazy 3 of Clubs work when all the other cards are Diamonds. So lately there has been a lot of questions like that start, “What if…” or “Maybe we can…” and “But what about…” Then there is trying to anticipate the play of people at the table. “If I do ____, then maybe they will _____.
Caught unwittingly in the middle of this Tim. When the house is sold, he and I become in Homeless. That is not a good feeling. We have only talked about it in a superficial but usually practical way. BUT, my guess is this is having a profound emotional impact on him. I am sure it is on Sean. He has always been the most sensitive, in a good way, of the three of us. (Boys if you’re reading this, remember how much I love you and how we’ve always managed to get through before. And Tim, remember the Always Lasting promise I made when you were a baby.)
On to life number 2, Life in Taiwan… Life in Taiwan is generally good. I’ve made some good friends. I love the food and people in general. I have a job I like. I have a decent apartment in walking distance of my job. Really life is good here. So what else could I want? Hmmm What else could a SINGLE guy want? I’ll give you three guess’. No, Red Sox season tickets was a good guess, but the commute from Jhongli is too difficult. Try agan. No. A seemingly reasonable guess, but anyone who really knows me, knows it has NEVER been about ‘the booty’ for me. If it were just about sex, I could walk 5 minutes in any direction from my apartment and handle that. Try again, last chance. Yes! A girlfriend, and maybe that could lead to a good wife.
(I am opening up a generally very private part of my life. It’s a little scary. I’ve written a couple of paragraphs and this is getting long. So will finish in the next blog post. Look for something referencing lonely panda’s. I haven’t thought of a good title yet.)
Thursday, July 2, 2009
America the Beautiful
Where in the World is D Today?
Thinking About the Good ‘Ol U.S.A.
A few days ago a colleague, Susan, asked me at lunch, “So Darryl, why did you decide to never return to the U.S.?”….. I just about choked on my noodles….. “Who told you that nonsense?!” “You did.” was her response. (insert noodle choking noise here.) I then tried as calmly as I possible could that she must have mistaken something I said previously. This led to her being very emphatic that I had indeed said it which led to a rant from her about how horrible America is for exporting jobs, the education system, blah, blah,. I was having a hard time listening, I was trying to dislodge 逐出the noodles from my esophagus 食管.
The history of America is not a simple one, especially when it comes to its People of Color, and specifically for me, a person of African descent. I’ve just used some very eloquent 雄辯, but it boils down to this for me. I’m Black. I always refer to myself as Black. I grew up when we said “Black is Beautiful.” Africa is a beautiful and wondrous 魔幻continent, but I have no deep connection to Africa, so to call myself African American just seems…. Out of place. My life, family, history, culture, and Identity are all uniquely and wonderfully wrapped in the United States of America. When I was in the U.S., I never assume, as many do, that foreigners want to become U.S. citizens. Many do, but just as many if not more are forever tied THEIR country as much as I am to mine.
Independence Day, The Fourth of July, is the greatest holiday to me. It’s not global. We don’t share it with anyone. It’s OURS! The Declaration of Independence is a simply beautiful peace of writing. If you haven’t read it, you must. In the meantime, I will sum it up for you; “Hey King George, BITE ME!” (That’s a paraphrase of course.) The men who wrote it and the Constitution were less than perfect men by all measures. But I will give them the benefit of the doubt in drafting documents based on the world as they knew it in 1776, knowing that others would come along after them.
In this ongoing series of firsts for me while living in Taiwan, this one strikes a special chord with me having volunteered for President Obama’s Presidential Campaign. What would the White men, some of who were slave owners, who drafted the Declaration of Independence, think of this day, this year?! Surely, they could not have imagined it in 1776.
I love Taiwan and its people. Some days I feel completely lost and some days I am completely comfortable. It’s only been 5 ½ months! I can possibly see me living here a long time, especially if I am lucky enough to find a mate. But, NEVER go back to the U.S. as Susan suggested. HAH! Preposterous! 荒謬!Give up my U.S. passport?! NOPE, Ain’t Gonna happen!!! (I got the noodles out by the way.)
*Please, Please, Please copy and paste this video link. I tried and tried to embed it and I couldn't get it to work.* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghz4_kikLkE
I ALWAYS get goose bumps and a little teary eyed when I hear Ray Charles sing America the Beautiful. I hope it touches you to and you get a sense of my homesickness on Saturday, the Fourth of July, Independence Day. Say it with me people, AWESOME!
Thinking About the Good ‘Ol U.S.A.
A few days ago a colleague, Susan, asked me at lunch, “So Darryl, why did you decide to never return to the U.S.?”….. I just about choked on my noodles….. “Who told you that nonsense?!” “You did.” was her response. (insert noodle choking noise here.) I then tried as calmly as I possible could that she must have mistaken something I said previously. This led to her being very emphatic that I had indeed said it which led to a rant from her about how horrible America is for exporting jobs, the education system, blah, blah,. I was having a hard time listening, I was trying to dislodge 逐出the noodles from my esophagus 食管.
The history of America is not a simple one, especially when it comes to its People of Color, and specifically for me, a person of African descent. I’ve just used some very eloquent 雄辯, but it boils down to this for me. I’m Black. I always refer to myself as Black. I grew up when we said “Black is Beautiful.” Africa is a beautiful and wondrous 魔幻continent, but I have no deep connection to Africa, so to call myself African American just seems…. Out of place. My life, family, history, culture, and Identity are all uniquely and wonderfully wrapped in the United States of America. When I was in the U.S., I never assume, as many do, that foreigners want to become U.S. citizens. Many do, but just as many if not more are forever tied THEIR country as much as I am to mine.
Independence Day, The Fourth of July, is the greatest holiday to me. It’s not global. We don’t share it with anyone. It’s OURS! The Declaration of Independence is a simply beautiful peace of writing. If you haven’t read it, you must. In the meantime, I will sum it up for you; “Hey King George, BITE ME!” (That’s a paraphrase of course.) The men who wrote it and the Constitution were less than perfect men by all measures. But I will give them the benefit of the doubt in drafting documents based on the world as they knew it in 1776, knowing that others would come along after them.
In this ongoing series of firsts for me while living in Taiwan, this one strikes a special chord with me having volunteered for President Obama’s Presidential Campaign. What would the White men, some of who were slave owners, who drafted the Declaration of Independence, think of this day, this year?! Surely, they could not have imagined it in 1776.
I love Taiwan and its people. Some days I feel completely lost and some days I am completely comfortable. It’s only been 5 ½ months! I can possibly see me living here a long time, especially if I am lucky enough to find a mate. But, NEVER go back to the U.S. as Susan suggested. HAH! Preposterous! 荒謬!Give up my U.S. passport?! NOPE, Ain’t Gonna happen!!! (I got the noodles out by the way.)
*Please, Please, Please copy and paste this video link. I tried and tried to embed it and I couldn't get it to work.* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghz4_kikLkE
I ALWAYS get goose bumps and a little teary eyed when I hear Ray Charles sing America the Beautiful. I hope it touches you to and you get a sense of my homesickness on Saturday, the Fourth of July, Independence Day. Say it with me people, AWESOME!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My Thoughts Walking To School Today
Where in the World is D Today?
Somewhere on Yanping Road.
I haven't slept well the last two nights. Too many things on my mind. On my daily walk the list began to scroll through my head of all the things I missed. It began as I adjusted the mask on face to protect my lungs from the exhaust fumes of traffic. Some of the things were specific to Columbia, some were just things I noticed I hadn't done or had in a while. Here's the list of things I missed in the 10 minute walk from my apartment to Chung Li Elementary.
I Miss...
Clean Air
The quite of my neighborhood in Columbia
Planting flowers in front of my house
Mowing my lawn
Chocolate shakes from Sonic's Drive-in
The Twilight Festival or walking around downtown Columbia in general
Washing and Waxing my car
Taking a drive on a sunny day with the top down on a curvy road. (My car is a convertible. I have not seen many in Taiwan.)
Independence - I am fiercely independent while simultaneously knowing we NEED
other people in our lives. I am tremendously Thankful for the helpers in my life like Yi-Wen, Claire, and Ray. I am blessed by all my helpers, but I often feel like a child. I must have someone speak for me at the doctors office and renting an apartment. Some things are very personal and as a grown man would rather not have a third person involved. These conversation often makes me feel invisible, because while I am the point of the conversation, no one ever actually talks to ME. But it is a necessary evil and is an important lesson in humility for me. I have no choice. It will be a very long time before my Chinese is good enough to go the the doctor alone. Given the choice of going and increasing the possibility of getting something wrong or having a helper, no matter the embarrassment, I choose the helper.
HUGS - I really miss hugs. I have not had the full embrace of another human being in almost 6 months. Times when I need a hug and KNOW that I CAN't get one is when I really feel the difference in culture.
PBS - This is Public Broadcasting Station with news and arts and documentaries.
Tennis
Dancing - I miss dancing almost as much as hugs. It is such a wonderful expression and a chance to connect with another person.
I need, I crave, human touch. Not in any bad or unhealthy way. It is my basic belief that there is something in all of us that needs it. We do it instintively with children and babies to comfort them and then it fades as we get older. But where I come from, Black people hug! The full embrace I get at a family gather or at church...there's nothing else like it. I really miss that.
Peace
Somewhere on Yanping Road.
I haven't slept well the last two nights. Too many things on my mind. On my daily walk the list began to scroll through my head of all the things I missed. It began as I adjusted the mask on face to protect my lungs from the exhaust fumes of traffic. Some of the things were specific to Columbia, some were just things I noticed I hadn't done or had in a while. Here's the list of things I missed in the 10 minute walk from my apartment to Chung Li Elementary.
I Miss...
Clean Air
The quite of my neighborhood in Columbia
Planting flowers in front of my house
Mowing my lawn
Chocolate shakes from Sonic's Drive-in
The Twilight Festival or walking around downtown Columbia in general
Washing and Waxing my car
Taking a drive on a sunny day with the top down on a curvy road. (My car is a convertible. I have not seen many in Taiwan.)
Independence - I am fiercely independent while simultaneously knowing we NEED
other people in our lives. I am tremendously Thankful for the helpers in my life like Yi-Wen, Claire, and Ray. I am blessed by all my helpers, but I often feel like a child. I must have someone speak for me at the doctors office and renting an apartment. Some things are very personal and as a grown man would rather not have a third person involved. These conversation often makes me feel invisible, because while I am the point of the conversation, no one ever actually talks to ME. But it is a necessary evil and is an important lesson in humility for me. I have no choice. It will be a very long time before my Chinese is good enough to go the the doctor alone. Given the choice of going and increasing the possibility of getting something wrong or having a helper, no matter the embarrassment, I choose the helper.
HUGS - I really miss hugs. I have not had the full embrace of another human being in almost 6 months. Times when I need a hug and KNOW that I CAN't get one is when I really feel the difference in culture.
PBS - This is Public Broadcasting Station with news and arts and documentaries.
Tennis
Dancing - I miss dancing almost as much as hugs. It is such a wonderful expression and a chance to connect with another person.
I need, I crave, human touch. Not in any bad or unhealthy way. It is my basic belief that there is something in all of us that needs it. We do it instintively with children and babies to comfort them and then it fades as we get older. But where I come from, Black people hug! The full embrace I get at a family gather or at church...there's nothing else like it. I really miss that.
Peace
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Teacher Extraordinaire! 教师非凡
Where in the World is D Today?
Trying to find a humble way to say I'm the GREATEST TEACHER EVER! :)
The Greatest Teacher Ever?! OK, that may be a little bit of a stretch, but that's how I felt when the flowers were explained to me. "Flowers?!", you say. Let me back up for those who haven't read the blog the last few days......
This past Wednesday was the 6th Grade Graduation. I am a natural High School teacher. Now, that I am teacher Elementary School, it takes learning a different thought process. (Since I'm not much more mature than 11 year old kids it wasn't too great of a leap. HA!)
I've only been teaching here for 5 months. So I never really expected to make the connections I did. Nor did I expect the kids to connect with me the way some did. I hoped for it, but honestly didn't expect it. Well,.... with some of the kids I got exactly what I wanted... to care for them and for them to care for me back.
At the end of the ceremony a couple of boys brought me some flowers. Thinking like a westerner, I figured the boys parents gave them some flowers to celebrate the graduation and then gave them to me because the are 11 year old boys and don't want to be caring flowers around they got from their mom. I asked teacher about it on Thursday when she explained to me I had it all wrong. They asked the parents to buy flowers specifically for them to give to ME! Say it with me people.. "AWESOME" A 6th grade boy would NEVER give his male teacher flowers in the U.S. I am still smiling!
So am I THE greatest teacher EVER? That is certainly up for debate. But I definitely feels like it.
On a deeper more reflective note. I wish I could share all of this with my Grand Mothers. I often think of them at moments like this. They both were SO VERY PROUD of me when I graduated, because I was a TEACHER! For those of you who appreciate history, at the time when my grandmothers were born, the early 1900's, and grew up in a very racist and segregated America, the most respected Black man was either the Pastor or the Teacher. So you see, for their grandson to become a teacher was a big deal to them, and rightfully so. I can remember one time I went to visit my Grandmother Johnson and she called her friends in the neighborhood, "My Grandson the Teacher is here to visit me!". A few minutes later her house had 4-5 of these little old ladies from my grandma's generation show up. She was so proud and so were those little old ladies. The had the same story growing up as Grandma Johnson. At times like these, I miss my Grandmothers. They were special ladies. I know that they would be especially proud of me now.
Trying to find a humble way to say I'm the GREATEST TEACHER EVER! :)
The Greatest Teacher Ever?! OK, that may be a little bit of a stretch, but that's how I felt when the flowers were explained to me. "Flowers?!", you say. Let me back up for those who haven't read the blog the last few days......
This past Wednesday was the 6th Grade Graduation. I am a natural High School teacher. Now, that I am teacher Elementary School, it takes learning a different thought process. (Since I'm not much more mature than 11 year old kids it wasn't too great of a leap. HA!)
I've only been teaching here for 5 months. So I never really expected to make the connections I did. Nor did I expect the kids to connect with me the way some did. I hoped for it, but honestly didn't expect it. Well,.... with some of the kids I got exactly what I wanted... to care for them and for them to care for me back.
At the end of the ceremony a couple of boys brought me some flowers. Thinking like a westerner, I figured the boys parents gave them some flowers to celebrate the graduation and then gave them to me because the are 11 year old boys and don't want to be caring flowers around they got from their mom. I asked teacher about it on Thursday when she explained to me I had it all wrong. They asked the parents to buy flowers specifically for them to give to ME! Say it with me people.. "AWESOME" A 6th grade boy would NEVER give his male teacher flowers in the U.S. I am still smiling!
So am I THE greatest teacher EVER? That is certainly up for debate. But I definitely feels like it.
On a deeper more reflective note. I wish I could share all of this with my Grand Mothers. I often think of them at moments like this. They both were SO VERY PROUD of me when I graduated, because I was a TEACHER! For those of you who appreciate history, at the time when my grandmothers were born, the early 1900's, and grew up in a very racist and segregated America, the most respected Black man was either the Pastor or the Teacher. So you see, for their grandson to become a teacher was a big deal to them, and rightfully so. I can remember one time I went to visit my Grandmother Johnson and she called her friends in the neighborhood, "My Grandson the Teacher is here to visit me!". A few minutes later her house had 4-5 of these little old ladies from my grandma's generation show up. She was so proud and so were those little old ladies. The had the same story growing up as Grandma Johnson. At times like these, I miss my Grandmothers. They were special ladies. I know that they would be especially proud of me now.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Going To Bed With A Smile On My Face
Where in the World is D Today?
Preparing for Sweet Dreams.
If you read the blog post directly after this one, You will see I was in a bit of a bad mood this evening.
But, as we say in my church back home, "God doesn't always come when you call, but He's always right on time."
Today, I got comfort from Timmy, Shaq, Pie, and Cindy. They lifted me from my afternoon funk. But After I got home, I really don't like coming home, the clouds returned.
Wrote on my blog, I love Taiwan but it doesn't love me back. Then I was comforted unknowingly by Joselyn (a Friend in Taichung), Yi-Wen my new friend at church and Ming my friend from school. My mood was better and I was beginning to think I should update my blog before bed. Then the best thing happened....
My Big Sister Marian called. I called her last night because I was sad. She was in the car and stopped at my younger Brother Steve's house so I could talk to him. Yeah!
So today Marian called to check on me and brought reinforcements. I got to talk to my Big Brother Kirk and my Sister-in-Law Theresa!
I LOVE my family! I miss them terribly at times. I appreciate them so much more now that I am in Taiwan and so far away. Families NEED each other. Our family understands that simple but very important principle.
Thanks to everyone who unknowingly through me a life preserver today. But my Big Sister KNEW from 7700 miles away her little brother needed a life preserver today. And she made sure I got it.
The love of and from ones Family is the greatest buoy any of us can hope for on this side of eternity.
And that is pretty darn cool! Sweet Dreams!
Preparing for Sweet Dreams.
If you read the blog post directly after this one, You will see I was in a bit of a bad mood this evening.
But, as we say in my church back home, "God doesn't always come when you call, but He's always right on time."
Today, I got comfort from Timmy, Shaq, Pie, and Cindy. They lifted me from my afternoon funk. But After I got home, I really don't like coming home, the clouds returned.
Wrote on my blog, I love Taiwan but it doesn't love me back. Then I was comforted unknowingly by Joselyn (a Friend in Taichung), Yi-Wen my new friend at church and Ming my friend from school. My mood was better and I was beginning to think I should update my blog before bed. Then the best thing happened....
My Big Sister Marian called. I called her last night because I was sad. She was in the car and stopped at my younger Brother Steve's house so I could talk to him. Yeah!
So today Marian called to check on me and brought reinforcements. I got to talk to my Big Brother Kirk and my Sister-in-Law Theresa!
I LOVE my family! I miss them terribly at times. I appreciate them so much more now that I am in Taiwan and so far away. Families NEED each other. Our family understands that simple but very important principle.
Thanks to everyone who unknowingly through me a life preserver today. But my Big Sister KNEW from 7700 miles away her little brother needed a life preserver today. And she made sure I got it.
The love of and from ones Family is the greatest buoy any of us can hope for on this side of eternity.
And that is pretty darn cool! Sweet Dreams!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My Birthday Part 3
Where in the World is D Today?
Reflecting on his Birthday.
As promised from the blog post my birthday part 2, Part 3 will be special. At least it is to ME.
It wasn't until I looked back that I realized what a COOL Birthday I really had. My Birthday was spread out over 2 days. Day 1 was the movie with Jane.
We went to see Wolverine: X-men Beginnings. But before I went to the movies I went to Starbucks. I thought I would just stop by and goof around on my computer for a little bit. The only person at Starbucks who know it was my birthday was Sylvie. We had chatted online the week before and I mentioned that it had been my observation that it often, not always, rains on May 5.
Once I got to Starbucks, what happened later made me cry when I got home. First I ran into Cindy. That's always cool. I hadn't seen her in maybe 2 1/2 weeks. I have slightly different relationship with Cindy than I do with Pie and Shaq. We talk about deep stuff; the future, the world and our place in it.
Then Pie rolls in. Say it with me people, AWESOME! Then Sylvie come over and says I told you it wouldn't rain! I am all smile then it happens. I get my gift.
A simple envelope with a birthday card, or so I thought. I'll let you read for yourself.
Me and Sylvie
Me and Bryan
Me and Eddie
Me, Sylvie and Edison
And what is a birthday without CAKE!
I got the cake from one of 6th grade Homeroom Teachers. Her name is (spelled phonetically - Yu Shun).We meet on Wednesdays after school and I help her with English and she teaches me some Chinese. But mostly we just talk about Family, our kids, you know.... LIFE. She is so kind. My life is richer here at Chung Li Elementary school because of her.
Reflecting on his Birthday.
As promised from the blog post my birthday part 2, Part 3 will be special. At least it is to ME.
It wasn't until I looked back that I realized what a COOL Birthday I really had. My Birthday was spread out over 2 days. Day 1 was the movie with Jane.
We went to see Wolverine: X-men Beginnings. But before I went to the movies I went to Starbucks. I thought I would just stop by and goof around on my computer for a little bit. The only person at Starbucks who know it was my birthday was Sylvie. We had chatted online the week before and I mentioned that it had been my observation that it often, not always, rains on May 5.
Once I got to Starbucks, what happened later made me cry when I got home. First I ran into Cindy. That's always cool. I hadn't seen her in maybe 2 1/2 weeks. I have slightly different relationship with Cindy than I do with Pie and Shaq. We talk about deep stuff; the future, the world and our place in it.
Then Pie rolls in. Say it with me people, AWESOME! Then Sylvie come over and says I told you it wouldn't rain! I am all smile then it happens. I get my gift.
A simple envelope with a birthday card, or so I thought. I'll let you read for yourself.
Me and Sylvie
Me and Bryan
Me and Eddie
Me, Sylvie and Edison
And what is a birthday without CAKE!
I got the cake from one of 6th grade Homeroom Teachers. Her name is (spelled phonetically - Yu Shun).We meet on Wednesdays after school and I help her with English and she teaches me some Chinese. But mostly we just talk about Family, our kids, you know.... LIFE. She is so kind. My life is richer here at Chung Li Elementary school because of her.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Leaning on Rocks!
Where in the World is D Today?
Reflecting on Surviving?
This will be short. My last post was about running away from crappy stuff. This one is simply to say..... Well..... Stuff Happens. When it does, yell, scream, fight, and most importantly find somebody to laugh with. Laughter is indeed the best medicine.
I am reminded daily of how blessed I am. I have some truly remarkable people in my life, and they make life worth living. To my best and Dearest friends, my kids and my family, both in Taiwan and the U.S.
Thanks! You guys are my Rock!
Peace
Reflecting on Surviving?
This will be short. My last post was about running away from crappy stuff. This one is simply to say..... Well..... Stuff Happens. When it does, yell, scream, fight, and most importantly find somebody to laugh with. Laughter is indeed the best medicine.
I am reminded daily of how blessed I am. I have some truly remarkable people in my life, and they make life worth living. To my best and Dearest friends, my kids and my family, both in Taiwan and the U.S.
Thanks! You guys are my Rock!
Peace
Monday, October 20, 2008
Nobody throws me my own gun and says Run, Nobody
I love the movie The Magnificent Seven. The title of this post is a very cool line from that movie. The gist of it is, I have the right to be in a given place as much as anybody, and I will not be run off. Thus he goes back and makes his stand.
This past Friday night my niece Lindsay got married. I think she would agree we have our own special relationship. She even requested a dance just for me at the reception. A memory I will cling to forever. Nick, her new husband, is sweet and gentle and I know will cherish her all her life. The trick here is Lindsay is a niece on my ex-wife's side of the family. Things have been...... shall we say odd, with me and her family for a while. Odd to the point where Lindsay wasn't entirely sure if she could/should invite me. That being said, I miss some of the family deeply. Lindsay and her sister Megan are right at the top of the list. Over the years I have felt a bit like that gunslinger in The Magnificent that has been thrown his own gun and told to run. But Friday things changed for me.
Thank you Darlene for inviting to sit at the clans table. It only lasted a few minutes but I am eternally grateful to you. It was Genuine gesture of your love for me. And to Kristy, my sister in law and mother of the bride, you still rock in my book! The two "outsiders" that held and supported the other in our own unique way in weird family times. You guys are the villagers that made me Want to come back and stand my ground!
So Lindsay and Megan (and Taylor) expect to have your Uncle Darryl back. But be careful what you wish for I may become that "weird" uncle. (Though I already sort of was.) But hopefully I'll be more of the "cool" uncle. But I hope my fate turns out better that of the gunfighter. He gets killed in the big shoot out at the end.
Post Script - I added Taylor in parenthesis on purpose. I've never had the relationship with him that I had with the girls. For various reasons I suppose. But when I saw and spoke to him at the wedding I was so impressed and excited to see the young man he's grown in to. I can see him thinking for himself in a way I hadn't before. It was VERY cool to see. Taylor's is a story I truly want to keep reading to see how it turns out!
This past Friday night my niece Lindsay got married. I think she would agree we have our own special relationship. She even requested a dance just for me at the reception. A memory I will cling to forever. Nick, her new husband, is sweet and gentle and I know will cherish her all her life. The trick here is Lindsay is a niece on my ex-wife's side of the family. Things have been...... shall we say odd, with me and her family for a while. Odd to the point where Lindsay wasn't entirely sure if she could/should invite me. That being said, I miss some of the family deeply. Lindsay and her sister Megan are right at the top of the list. Over the years I have felt a bit like that gunslinger in The Magnificent that has been thrown his own gun and told to run. But Friday things changed for me.
Thank you Darlene for inviting to sit at the clans table. It only lasted a few minutes but I am eternally grateful to you. It was Genuine gesture of your love for me. And to Kristy, my sister in law and mother of the bride, you still rock in my book! The two "outsiders" that held and supported the other in our own unique way in weird family times. You guys are the villagers that made me Want to come back and stand my ground!
So Lindsay and Megan (and Taylor) expect to have your Uncle Darryl back. But be careful what you wish for I may become that "weird" uncle. (Though I already sort of was.) But hopefully I'll be more of the "cool" uncle. But I hope my fate turns out better that of the gunfighter. He gets killed in the big shoot out at the end.
Post Script - I added Taylor in parenthesis on purpose. I've never had the relationship with him that I had with the girls. For various reasons I suppose. But when I saw and spoke to him at the wedding I was so impressed and excited to see the young man he's grown in to. I can see him thinking for himself in a way I hadn't before. It was VERY cool to see. Taylor's is a story I truly want to keep reading to see how it turns out!
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